Defensive Dating provides:

• Relationship-safety education

• Pattern recognition

• Boundary and communication support

• Safer-date planning

• Practical scripts and reflection questions

• Referrals to appropriate community resources

Defensive Dating does not provide:

• Legal advice

• Medical or mental-health treatment

• Diagnosis

• Private investigation

• Background checks

• Surveillance

• Security or bodyguard services

• Emergency dispatch

• Proof that another person is safe or unsafe

We may identify concerning behaviours in messages or situations, but we do not diagnose people or declare that someone is an abuser, narcissist, criminal or safe dating partner.

No course, message review, appointment, check-in system or safety plan can eliminate all risk.

People may hide information, change their behaviour or act unpredictably. Defensive Dating cannot verify the identity, history, intentions or future behaviour of another person.

You remain responsible for your own decisions, transportation, location choices, communications and emergency planning.

Feeling uncertain does not mean you are overreacting. It does mean you may need more information, more time or additional professional support.

Defensive Dating is not monitored 24 hours a day and should never be used as a replacement for emergency services.

Do not submit an online form or wait for a response when:

• Someone is threatening immediate harm

• You are being followed

• Someone is outside your home or workplace

• A weapon is involved

• A child is in immediate danger

• You cannot safely leave

• You believe violence may happen soon

In an immediate emergency, call 911.

You may also contact a local domestic-violence service, sexual-assault service, victim-services organization or crisis line.

A Red Flag Review examines the information you choose to submit.

The review may identify patterns such as:

• Pressure

• Guilt

• Boundary violations

• Jealousy

• Isolation

• Manipulation

• Threats

• Sexual coercion

• Monitoring

• Blame-shifting

• Repeated unwanted contact

A review is based only on the information provided. Missing context, deleted messages, altered screenshots or incomplete timelines may affect the response.

A Red Flag Review is not an investigation, risk assessment, psychological evaluation or legal opinion.

RTRS will not contact the person being discussed.

Only submit messages, images or documents that you lawfully possess or received.

Before uploading, remove or cover:

• Full names

• Telephone numbers

• Email addresses

• Home addresses

• Workplaces

• Usernames

• Licence plates

• Children’s names

• School names

• Faces

• Banking information

• Health-card numbers

• Other identifying details

Do not submit intimate images, sexual images of minors, illegally obtained account information, hacked messages or material taken from someone else’s private device without authorization.

You are responsible for checking that your screenshots have been properly redacted.

Defensive Dating does not currently provide covert recording, continuous audio monitoring, secret earpiece listening or surveillance of another person.

RTRS staff and volunteers will not secretly listen to private conversations, record dates or follow dating partners.

Canadian criminal law generally prohibits knowingly intercepting private communications, subject to specific consent-based and authorized exceptions. Because the law depends heavily on how the communication is captured, who consents and what the service is doing, RTRS will not offer real-time listening or recording without formal legal review and written operating procedures.

Any future physical accompaniment or protective service would be delivered only through an appropriately licensed provider. Ontario regulates paid work that primarily involves guarding people or conducting investigations.

A Date Check-In may include:

• Recording the planned public location

• Confirming transportation

• Choosing check-in times

• Establishing a code word

• Contacting an emergency person under a previously agreed plan

• Providing a brief post-date check-in

A Date Check-In does not mean RTRS is supervising the date or guaranteeing an emergency response.

The participant must provide accurate information and must understand exactly what will happen if a check-in is missed.

RTRS will not automatically contact police unless there is a credible immediate safety concern or another legal obligation applies.

Private message reviews, paid appointments and personalized date check-ins are currently intended for people aged 18 and older.

Teens may use the public Defensive Dating for Teens educational course.

Private services for minors will not be launched until RTRS has appropriate safeguarding procedures, staff training, consent rules and response protocols.

Where required by law, RTRS may disclose information involving child abuse, neglect or a child who may need protection. Ontario law requires certain child-protection concerns to be reported directly to a children’s aid society.

RTRS will treat personal information with care, but confidentiality is not absolute.

Information may be disclosed when:

• You give permission

• Disclosure is required by law

• A child-protection report is required

• There is a serious and immediate threat to someone’s safety

• A court order, warrant or other lawful demand requires disclosure

• Disclosure is necessary to respond to fraud, misuse or a complaint

• A service provider must process information to deliver the service

RTRS will disclose only what it reasonably believes is necessary.

Depending on the service, RTRS may collect:

• Your name or chosen name

• Age confirmation

• Safe contact details

• Contact preferences

• Messages and screenshots

• Your description of events

• Appointment notes

• Payment and booking records

• Safety concerns you choose to disclose

• Technical information collected by the website platform

We will not intentionally collect more information than is reasonably necessary to provide the service.

Information may be used to:

• Deliver the requested service

• Respond to your questions

• Prepare a written review

• Arrange appointments

• Process payments

• Improve program materials

• Address safety concerns

• Meet legal obligations

• Investigate misuse or complaints

Personal stories, screenshots and identifying details will not be used publicly without specific written permission.

Permission to receive support is not permission to use your story for marketing.

Defensive Dating may use website, form, scheduling, payment, email and cloud-storage providers.

Information submitted through those systems may be processed or stored by those providers under their own privacy practices.

RTRS will limit access to authorized individuals and use reasonable administrative and technical safeguards. No online system can guarantee perfect security.

Because paid services may amount to commercial activity, Canadian private-sector privacy requirements may apply even where the organization is a nonprofit. RTRS intends to follow privacy-minimization, consent, safeguarding and access principles regardless of whether a specific statute applies to every activity.

RTRS aims to delete uploaded screenshots and detailed message-review material within 30 days after the service is completed, unless the information is reasonably needed for:

• An active safety concern

• A legal obligation

• A complaint

• Payment or accounting records

• Fraud prevention

• A request from the person who submitted it

Routine system backups may temporarily retain deleted information.

Anonymous program statistics may be kept, provided they do not identify participants.

You may ask RTRS to:

• Explain what personal information is held about you

• Correct inaccurate information

• Delete information that is no longer required

• Stop using your story or information for an optional purpose

• Explain which service providers are involved

Some information may need to be retained where required by law, accounting rules, safety concerns or an unresolved complaint.

Privacy requests can be sent to:

willowrae@redthreadrefugesociety.ca

Use the subject line:

Privacy Request

Before submitting information, confirm:

• Whether email is safe

• Whether voicemail is safe

• Whether text messages are safe

• What name RTRS may use

• Whether messages must avoid mentioning Red Thread or dating safety

RTRS cannot control who has access to your device, email, browser history or notifications.

The Quick Exit button changes the visible page but does not erase browser history, downloads, emails or device records.

Prices, cancellation rules and refund terms will be shown before booking or purchase.

Payment does not guarantee a particular conclusion, result or outcome.

No one will receive a more alarming or dramatic review because they paid for a higher-priced service.

Sponsored, reduced-cost or pay-what-you-can spaces may be offered depending on funding and availability.

Immediate safety information will never be intentionally withheld because someone cannot pay.

Defensive Dating may refuse, pause or end a service where someone:

• Threatens staff or volunteers

• Uses the program to harass another person

• Submits stolen or illegally obtained material

• Attempts to identify or investigate a third party

• Repeatedly submits misleading information

• Requests surveillance, retaliation or confrontation

• Uses the service for stalking or coercive control

RTRS may also decline a service that is outside its training, capacity or legal role.

Using Defensive Dating does not create:

• A lawyer-client relationship

• A therapist-client relationship

• A doctor-patient relationship

• A security-client relationship

• A private-investigator relationship

RTRS may recommend that you speak with a lawyer, counsellor, healthcare professional, police service, children’s aid society, victim-services organization or domestic-violence agency.

RTRS may update these terms as the program develops, laws change or new services are introduced.

The updated date will appear at the top of this page.

Continued use of the service after an update means the new terms apply to future use.

Questions about Defensive Dating, privacy or these terms may be sent to:

Red Thread Refuge Society
Greater Sudbury, Ontario
willowrae@redthreadrefugesociety.ca