She shouldn’t have to choose…
Safety should never mean leaving behind the animal who helped her survive.
For many survivors, a pet is not “just a pet.”
They are comfort. They are routine. They are protection. They are the one living thing in the house that may have loved her without control, fear, punishment, or conditions.
So when people ask, “Why didn’t she just leave?” they are often missing one heartbreaking piece of the story:
Where was she supposed to go with her children, her fear, her trauma, and the animal she refused to abandon?
Leaving abuse should not mean losing the only safe love she had left.
At Red Thread Refuge Society, pets are not an afterthought. They are part of the safety plan.
Pets can be used as a form of control.
Abuse is not always loud. Sometimes it is quiet, calculated control.
For some survivors, that control includes threats toward their pet. It can look like withholding food, refusing vet care, threatening to harm the animal, or using the pet as a reason she feels she cannot leave.
That is not weakness.
That is love being used against her.
And that is why pet-inclusive safety matters.
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Her safety or her dog.
Her children’s safety or her cat.
A shelter bed or the animal who helped her survive.
Leaving abuse or abandoning family.
RTRS is being built with a different belief:
If pets are part of the reason survivors stay, pets must be part of the safety plan.
That choice is cruel.
Build a Quiet Pet Safety Plan
Only do what is safe. If someone monitors your phone, browser, email, location, or belongings, use a safer device before saving information or making plans.
Only do what is safe. If someone monitors your phone, browser, email, location, or belongings, use a safer device before saving information or making plans.
You do not need to do everything today. One small step is still a step.
A quiet pet safety plan may include:
A private photo of your pet
Vet clinic name and phone number
Microchip number
Medication information
Vaccination records
Food needs
A small comfort item
One trusted temporary pet contact
A safe way to transport your pet
A plan for where your pet could go in an emergency
Do not leave notes, screenshots, packed bags, or printed checklists where an unsafe person may find them.
Our pet-safe refuge vision
The future Red Thread Refuge Society is being designed with women, children, and pets in mind from the beginning.
Our long-term vision includes safe, trauma-informed spaces where survivors do not have to separate from the animals they love simply because they are trying to survive.
This may include:
Pet-friendly housing options
Safe outdoor walking areas
Emergency pet supplies
Pet food, crates, carriers, leashes, bowls, beds, and litter
Partnerships with veterinarians, groomers, trainers, rescues, boarding supports, and foster homes
Safety planning for survivors with animals
Education about how pets can be used in coercive control
RTRS is still in the early building phase. This page shares our vision, our values, and the kind of refuge we are working to build.
What people do not always understand
“I could leave. My dog couldn’t.”
“My pet was the only safe love in that house.”
“I stayed longer because he threatened to kill my dog”
“The shelter had room for me, but not my cats.”
“People judged me for not leaving. Nobody asked what I was protecting.”
Help us build safety that includes pets
Pet-inclusive safety is not a luxury. It is a lifeline.
Your support helps RTRS move toward a future where women, children, and pets can heal together instead of being separated at the moment they need each other most.
Your donation can help support:
Emergency pet supplies
Pet-safe refuge planning
Safety tools for survivors with animals
Community education
Future partnerships with trusted pet care providers
Become a future pet-safe partner
RTRS is looking to build relationships with trusted pet professionals and community partners who believe survivors should not have to leave family behind.
We are especially interested in connecting with:
Veterinarians
Groomers
Boarding facilities
Pet food suppliers
Trainers
Rescues
Foster-based animal supports
Pet stores
Community donors
